Again...

Again it has happened. I went out with my two best friends and the guy just text his on again off again Ex. I really am getting irked by this because it hurts. I feel like I am being ignored by this. It's hot as hell in my room and it isn't really making me feel any better. Today could have been a hell of a lot better, but it won't be. It never is. 
   I've been feeling more and more depressed lately and it's bothering me to the point of wanting to disappear. I've thought about it many times before, especially when my parents start to fight a lot. I figure I shouldn't complain so much. Some have it worse than me, but days like today really just hurt and piss me off. 
   "Stacy won't text me back." "I hope Stacy hurries and texts me back." "I miss her. I wish we could get back together." Neither one of them are over one another and neither one of them is fit for each other. They break up a month after dating...sometimes time even a month. I actually feel like I'm gonna cry, but I can't. If I cry right now he'll ask what's wrong and he can tell when I'm lying. I wish this would disappear sometimes if I cannot. I wish that I can actually find a guy who isn't obsessed with anyone...and actually understands what it feels like.
     I hope he finds this one day, because when he does, maybe he understands how much it really hurts....Heh, Like that would ever happen. At least he has good looks...guess ugly people won't ever find true love with someone better them then since men never settle or people below them. 

Best Dude Friend

As I type this I sit here with one of my best guy friends; thankfully he cannot see what I'm writing. It irks me that I'm pretty much ignored when I drive him over to my house. He stays on his laptop or phone and just talks to his ex (On and off again with her almost all the time) and it really is starting to bug the piss out of me. And as I type this he's telling me that i'm typing like i'm enraged, which I'm a little angry, but not much. Anywho! 

We're actually watching the new episode of South Park tonight and I was really hoping for more than bonding time with him with the bodies, but that probably won't happen because of his ex. I'm not sure really why I'm typing this tonight since this usually happens all the time when he's over....and now he decides to close his laptop when the show starts...just gotta love it. I'm just feeling ignored I guess. I try so hard to be a good friend and it doesn't help that my entire last month and a half has been spent at my aunts house helping her move, cutting out friend time....and now he's checking his phone....really fucking pisses me off.  I'll post more later. 

Sorry for any misspelling 

League Night...and....children....

Tonight was my every other Saturday bowling league with my two besties and one of the besties family friend. Now, these past two weeks have been brutal mentally and emotionally. I've been helping move my aunt into her new house and been at her old house everyday this week cleaning it out and setting up for a yard sale. I don't know why I thought tonight would be good, the only thing good about it was my bestie guy who came over afterwards.

  Now, I don't mind children, I really don't. I honestly don't know why I assumed that a couple on the league wouldn't bring their three kids (4, 5, and 1 I believe) the younger one goes into one of the baby crib pens and the other two just run around the bowling alley asking everyone for money after they're told no by their parents and grandparents...and this is every league night. It's an adult league, and honestly, I feel like it's a peewee league with the children there because all they do is run around and scream before asking you for money. The asking for money thing goes on the entire night. They're parents ignore them and the grandparents just tell them to sit and ignore the rest of the time.
   I know I am not the only one that feels this way. A few others tonight finally had it as well and it's only the second day of the season (the children have been going to the bowling alley since they were born I am assuming since they were there last year when I visited a friend as she bowled). I didn't even grab a drink tonight out of fear of snapping and actually yelling at them. If it wasn't enough for that they wanted to take the gift bag I had brought with me for one of my besties because they thought I brought it for them. Apparently they're not use to realizing the world doesn't revolve around them, but everyone grows up differently. I grew up knowing my place, but that's me.

   But honestly, I don't mind children. I just feel that if you have more than two and you can't control them, don't bring them to the bowling alley; get a babysitter and if you can't afford one, stay home. All in all, I had an okay game wise. I think I can reach an average in the 190's this year, though I have bowled more 200 games than anything in my life already and should be there.... Ah well. Two more weeks before the next league night...and we get to face that team with the children. I wanna just be done with it. I'm tired...so night ya'll. Sorry for any spelling errors.

Minecraft and Friend-zone

Well, today I've come to realize a few things by just sitting here and thinking. First off though, I must say that Minecraft mods for Pokemon and Digimon are fun. Pokemon more so though. Digimon mod isn't extremely great, but it's fun if you know how to play it and you don't have a tone of terrain mods loaded in because I cannot find the damn Digi Village to save my life. Pokemon on the other hand is something I could play for hours on end. I remember when it first came out when I was only 4 years old...maybe 5...I honestly can't remember, but I was so excited! BUT....it sucks when you play by yourself and rather easy when you are addicted to using cheats in Minecraft....


   Anywho....friend-zone (or however you wish to spell it) is something I'm coming to know very well. I have two guys I talk to a lot...everyday usually. One I see in person probably 3 times a week, maybe more depending on if we can afford it money wise. The other is my internet buddy. Internet buddy has a girlfriend who, in my mind, is emotionally and verbally abusive to him and he takes it. The other friend has a girl who has been on and off with him and every time he is over they talk...all the time...through text of course. I feel like I'm friend-zoned. I feel as if that I'm being ignored. 
   I understand that I am not the slimmest of people, but I'm a hell of a lot nicer than either of those girls. The one breaks up with the bestie every other week when they date. The online buddy has to tip toe around what he says so his gf doesn't bite his head off. I guess I'm just irked that I'm ignored and looked over because of...welll I don't even know. I try to be nice...I try to be caring and considerate. i sometimes just wish that someone would choose me for once...and not some guy who stalks me (happened in high school creepily enough). 

    Well I am sorry for any grammar errors. I'm writing this as I'm slowly falling asleep. I plan to try and work out a little more and eat a little less so I can get onto that diet idea I wanted to do in high school Anywho, until next time readers, what little of there are of you. Nights!

Recent Things......

I have not posted on here in a while...>.< This past year has been a challenge for me and these past few weeks have made me really question what I should do with my life and if I want to even stay here with my parents or talk to them after I move out. 

      I've been feeling a lot of pressure lately because I haven't applied to any colleges since graduating high school two years ago. I've been looking for a job since my parents will be moving to Pennsylvania any day now and their constant fighting has really irked me beyond what I can handle; not to mention just meeting a relative and his wife yesterday has really pushed me past what I can handle. Living in Ohio couldn't be any better than this.

     My parents and I have been helping my aunt move these past few weeks due to some family problems. Yesterday my second cousin on my father's side and his wife came out to help us. I have never met them before and I was fine with that since my entire family on both sides don't really talk to us or like us that much. I was more concerned with getting my aunt moved out and just said a quick 'hello' and started to work again.
     First impressions last a lifetime and I am more than positive I never want to see these two ever again. If it wasn't for them being idiots it was for my second cousin's wife harping on me to go to college. I rather not go to college at this time because financially it's a bad choice; even with grants and scholarships it would be hard just to pay for one year of college, even with my parents help as well. Sadly, she could not wrap her head around this and continued the entire time to tell me that I'm such a great artist because my mother said so. My mother always brags about things and lies....I am a great artist, but nowhere as near as good as she bragged...I would of preferred it being how great I am at bowling or something. But, as it were, my second cousins wife just went on and on...she wouldn't stop. Even when she and her husband left the only thing she said to me was, "You need to go back to school.". I can see if I've known her and my second cousin my whole life, but I didn't. I don't appreciate people telling/encouraging me things if I've only just met ya.

     Sadly I must go now. I have to finish moving out the smaller, lesser needed, things from my aunts other house. Hopefully I can get another post up here soon...probably gonna be about Minecraft or the new Harvest Moon game I've been playing...or even possibly about how excited I am for Pokemon X and Y.   I also apologized if I have any grammar errors.